6 Years

6 Years Since

For many people, January is a month of new beginnings and exciting journeys. For me and my family, it’s a time for grieving.

I Grieve Myself

January 20^th marks 6 years since I was hit by an SUV on that winter morning, walking into work. Sometimes, I’m not even sure what to call it. The Hit. The Accident. The day that changed everything. I guess it all applies.

January 20^th 2017, I began grieving myself.

I’ve had to say goodbye to parts of me. The person I was before chronic pain, traumatic injury, PTSD, depression, and anxiety were a part of my everyday life. What was she like? I can hardly remember.

I had to fight just to feel “normal” every day. When that became a losing battle, I realized I had to find small moments of safety and security. “One Hour at a Time”. That’s the motto I live by. Thinking about the day as a whole was difficult and too heavy a burden most days so instead, I would tell myself, just be in this moment. What does this moment feel like? Tackle life one small hour at a time.

One Hour at a Time

I didn’t come up with this on my own. I accepted help. Sure, it was mostly mandatory but after some time I realized how physical therapy and psychotherapy helped me understand what my body and mind need now, in this different phase of life. I was forced to slow down and accept rest – which was always a big problem for me. My other motto is “Rest Makes Me Depressed” haha. So, I searched for something more. I let my creativity explore avenues I never had time for before. And that’s when I fell into the flow of fluid painting.

“You don’t have to choose between falling apart and staying strong. You can become empowered by the very thing you imagined would swallow you whole.”

– Gina Moffa

January 20^th, 2017 // I felt broken and forsaken. It’s been an excruciating and long journey since, but I made it here today. It’s all thanks to God’s mercy leading me to art and thanks to your supporting me as I create. Gina, a gentle soul and a Grief Therapist from New York, says it perfectly,

“You don’t have to choose between falling apart and staying strong. You can become empowered by the very thing you imagined would swallow you whole”.

A Painter with a Purpose

God’s calling for my life has now become so clear. I couldn’t say that 6 years ago. Today, I’m a Painter with a Purpose – and that’s to express the true life of trauma through art. Thank you for encouraging me along the way. Your love, patronage, and messages are never lost on me. God seems to use you in my most dire moments. You’re my reminder to keep going, to keep creating, to keep sharing the deep and dark parts of life.

Cheers to 6 Years

It’s terrifying to be vulnerable on canvas and even more-so on social platforms – but I’ve never been good at hiding the truth behind a pretty picture and by now, you know that. So, let’s cheers to 6 years (the good, the bad, and the truth) and pray for grace in the next years to come!

6 Years Inspiration

This year’s trauma anniversary was tougher to endure. I spent the day seeking forms, movement, and colors that felt comforting and warm. I turned to florals as florals now represent a new phase in my life.

(You can read about that in my blog post all about ‘The Refresh Collection’)

Blank Canvas

What would you do if you were given a blank canvas – a new life you had to create? Tell me in the comments below.

When faced with this challenge back in 2017, I didn’t feel I had much of a choice. Art chose me. I had to either accept this new calling or fade away.